This is what I sound like when chemically and physiologically, I am out of sync... In a state of grace I see the depths of my disconnection. It is a fearful place to be, and having come out of it, I want to remember there is always a way out. I wrote this disconnection this morning...
"i wake and sleep to the tune of a substance that knows the call of my name and the calculus of my cells. i live dire. i read pain and i live lifeless doped up on hope and numb, i walk.
a spiral of misshapen moments, a demon of desire that knows not the mystery and beauty of the real world. i live in a fix, finding a fix, recovering and doing it again. a walking death wish. my foe and friend: i demise and despise...Anne Sexton, tell me... you were there."
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