The ponderings of one stuck in the corporate mold

Well it is Monday. Four days until vacation in the mountains which I am really looking forward too. I have a case of the Monday Blues though. My job is suffocating my spirit. I am putting it out in the universe now more than ever that I need something more fulfilling. Even unemployment would be doable. I am writing out my pain so it is evident to myself in some future point when I re-read this, how palpable my disdain for the corporate world really is. I think it is the lack of freedom that hurts me the most. I like my freedom and my ability to create, and sans this blog and other sundry writing ventures I sneak in during the work day, there is very little freedom otherwise. Although if I turn it around, I am blessed the freedom to express myself although it is on their dime. I would like to do it on my own dime. On my own. A room of one's own.

I've started reading 'The Artists Way' a blockbuster for those in the creative arts. I am excited to delve deeper into it and discover some more of my talents and be given the opportunity to express myself. I think that is what is lacking in the corporate world, a wholesome opportunity to truely be one's own self. There is a mold to be fit into, and it is rigid and uncomfortable. The paycheck is what keeps one uncomfortably pressed into the mold. It is only through these stolen minutes of creativity that I feel fulfilled at work. Otherwise, when I am actually doing what I am being paid to do, there is little solace or unity or sense of true self. I must steal moments and make them my own. I wonder how Karma fits into all of this. I am not a thief, I am someone merely trying to find a route to true survival. But for 8 hours a day I am expected to conform. I am not a conformist, I am a being with higher needs. "Be the change you want to see in the world." That is how the mantra goes. Well one step at a time, I am doing what I can to free myself from the corporate shackles. They are suffocating and degrading and just plain bad news for the soul.

I am a thief of freedom.